If you go to weddings to get rice for dinner.
If the level in your pool goes down when your neighbor flushes.
If you’ve ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
If your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
If your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
If none of your shirts cover your stomach.
If bikers back down from your momma.
If you’ve ever been too drunk to fish.
If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
If your dad walks you to school cuz you’re both in the same grade.
If your fish finder cost more than your boat!
If while mowing your yard, you find a car.
If you use the same tree as your dog.
If your wife gets caller I.D. so she can tell which bar you’re calling from.
If the keyless entry system for your car is a coat hanger.